Thinking versus Speaking
Can I really read people so well that I know true intention and meaning of their communications before they do? Is this really a possibility or am I really just full of shit/myself?
There is this woman, and for a while I believed she was the devil. In fact I thought most women were evil. I find that most men are evil as well. And not inherently, mind you. Why would I think this way? Well, there is this woman...
We had an intimate relationship for a few years. As time passed, I began to realize that she spoke in empty sentences. Every statement wasn't meant to convey any information intrinsic in the words used. Every statement was a hook and sinker with some stimulating bait. The words that came out of her mouth had very accurate purposes. And that was to get me to guess what she was feeling or thinking. If she felt neglected, she would discuss how she loves spending time with friends. And she would bring up how one friend has a new job and misses communicating with him/her. And she is particularly sad about this lack of human contact. And she states that now she has nobody to talk to. And she wishes that somebody would give her some attention. Prima facie she is discussing the loss of a friend due to scheduling conflicts. But any idiot can see that she is alluding to the possibility of not spending enough time with the person she would rather spend more time with, me.
Naturally I start to realize she is talking about me and that I'm not around enough. Of course the possibilities of me being crazy crosses my mind. Perhaps I was paranoid. Perhaps she was discussing how she felt with me. No. She was playing mind games with me. Mind games in the sense that she was trying to talk about something without actually talking about it. Unless, of course, I bring it up.
Being the stubborn bastard that I am, I refuse to play along. Instead I break down and call her out on her shit. I rip apart every sentence she sends my way. I tell her what she is really thinking. For every sentence she says, I have 20 in return. Just a quick analysis of what is actually being said, of what she is hiding from me, of what she is thinking. She denies everything of course.
So, one could deduce that there exist two possibilities. Either I am in the right or she is. Either I am correct regarding her conniving behavior, and she is hiding her true feelings and intentions, or...
Or I am crazy and imagining everything. Actually, she is being open and honest and is just speaking her mind to somebody she trusts implicitly. And I'm just being paranoid.
But in the end she admits. She says that I was right. That all she wanted was to tell me she wanted more attention from me. A reasonable request. So what am I to think? First, guilt hits me. Oh my god, I have intimidated this poor woman into agreeing with me, Big Brother interrogation tactics. But she assures me she just realized it. That it took me telling her what she thought. It made her realize that indeed I was right although she honestly didn't realize it at the beginning of this adventure.
Do I believe her? Or is this just another lure in order to salvage her own mental health, to resume grasp of her emotional self, and in turn regain control of this relationship. I trust her. Something about the way she said it. It felt honest. No unpleasant feeling in my gut. Was I caught? Did I fall for her trap, back into the maze of her self? Maybe I did. But she did a good job. I'll let her relish for now.
But what if my gut is correct, and it always is. She is telling the truth. It hits me, just as everything hits you, like you just felt your testicles descend. I was aware of what she was actually feeling before she did. This is absolutely remarkable. Can I really read people so well that I know true intention and meaning of their communications before they do? But this can explain my behavior since I was 12 years old. I hated school, because of the teachers and various other adults in positions of authority. I was convinced that most of them were full of shit/themselves. This lasted until my freshman year of college. But if I look at this sociopathic behavior under new light...
I see that I only liked the teachers that did not speak their mind. I bonded with and respected the teachers that were in control of their speech. The did not say what was on their mind. They processed everything first and only spoke when it was necessary to convey information to me. They did not think out loud in a sense. Many people nowadays think out loud, and consider it a legitimate form of communication. Their main defense? They are being honest. Yes they are, but it doesn't mean telling me everything on your mind. I only want the condensed version with annotations, footnotes and cross references. I found it foolish and inefficient to speak any other way. However being the child that I was, I resorted to anger and insubordination, when I spoke with those that think out loud. I felt that they were deceitful. I felt that they were trying to hide something from me. Their true intentions. And they were doing such a poor job of doing so. And it insulted me to think that they could get away with doing such a faulty job. The possibility that I was realizing their true meaning and intention before they did never crossed my mind. All the teachers that kept the mindless babble to themselves, were the ones I respected. They analyze their first impulse to say what is on their mind, and revise the idea they want to communicate, and the deliver it pre- packaged and labeled. Only in college did I realize that the teachers that were able to think and communicate in the way I described, were very very intelligent. And then I realized that those teachers that thought out loud were less so. I realized that I need to keep my mouth shut and let those who think out loud come to their own conclusions. I should never cross the boundary into their minds and even attempt to tell them what they are thinking, for you are always met with violent opposition. It is necessary to contemplate what I am about to say before I divulge their true meaning. In the end I am guilty of everything I am critical of. Speaking before thinking.
I am beginning to realize that while one becomes more and more intelligent, the urge to speak aloud lessens and lessens.
Afterword.
I apologize for what may seem as brash arrogance on my part. If in the end, it turns out that I am stupid, then I humbly ask you to forgive my intrusion.
There is this woman, and for a while I believed she was the devil. In fact I thought most women were evil. I find that most men are evil as well. And not inherently, mind you. Why would I think this way? Well, there is this woman...
We had an intimate relationship for a few years. As time passed, I began to realize that she spoke in empty sentences. Every statement wasn't meant to convey any information intrinsic in the words used. Every statement was a hook and sinker with some stimulating bait. The words that came out of her mouth had very accurate purposes. And that was to get me to guess what she was feeling or thinking. If she felt neglected, she would discuss how she loves spending time with friends. And she would bring up how one friend has a new job and misses communicating with him/her. And she is particularly sad about this lack of human contact. And she states that now she has nobody to talk to. And she wishes that somebody would give her some attention. Prima facie she is discussing the loss of a friend due to scheduling conflicts. But any idiot can see that she is alluding to the possibility of not spending enough time with the person she would rather spend more time with, me.
Naturally I start to realize she is talking about me and that I'm not around enough. Of course the possibilities of me being crazy crosses my mind. Perhaps I was paranoid. Perhaps she was discussing how she felt with me. No. She was playing mind games with me. Mind games in the sense that she was trying to talk about something without actually talking about it. Unless, of course, I bring it up.
Being the stubborn bastard that I am, I refuse to play along. Instead I break down and call her out on her shit. I rip apart every sentence she sends my way. I tell her what she is really thinking. For every sentence she says, I have 20 in return. Just a quick analysis of what is actually being said, of what she is hiding from me, of what she is thinking. She denies everything of course.
So, one could deduce that there exist two possibilities. Either I am in the right or she is. Either I am correct regarding her conniving behavior, and she is hiding her true feelings and intentions, or...
Or I am crazy and imagining everything. Actually, she is being open and honest and is just speaking her mind to somebody she trusts implicitly. And I'm just being paranoid.
But in the end she admits. She says that I was right. That all she wanted was to tell me she wanted more attention from me. A reasonable request. So what am I to think? First, guilt hits me. Oh my god, I have intimidated this poor woman into agreeing with me, Big Brother interrogation tactics. But she assures me she just realized it. That it took me telling her what she thought. It made her realize that indeed I was right although she honestly didn't realize it at the beginning of this adventure.
Do I believe her? Or is this just another lure in order to salvage her own mental health, to resume grasp of her emotional self, and in turn regain control of this relationship. I trust her. Something about the way she said it. It felt honest. No unpleasant feeling in my gut. Was I caught? Did I fall for her trap, back into the maze of her self? Maybe I did. But she did a good job. I'll let her relish for now.
But what if my gut is correct, and it always is. She is telling the truth. It hits me, just as everything hits you, like you just felt your testicles descend. I was aware of what she was actually feeling before she did. This is absolutely remarkable. Can I really read people so well that I know true intention and meaning of their communications before they do? But this can explain my behavior since I was 12 years old. I hated school, because of the teachers and various other adults in positions of authority. I was convinced that most of them were full of shit/themselves. This lasted until my freshman year of college. But if I look at this sociopathic behavior under new light...
I see that I only liked the teachers that did not speak their mind. I bonded with and respected the teachers that were in control of their speech. The did not say what was on their mind. They processed everything first and only spoke when it was necessary to convey information to me. They did not think out loud in a sense. Many people nowadays think out loud, and consider it a legitimate form of communication. Their main defense? They are being honest. Yes they are, but it doesn't mean telling me everything on your mind. I only want the condensed version with annotations, footnotes and cross references. I found it foolish and inefficient to speak any other way. However being the child that I was, I resorted to anger and insubordination, when I spoke with those that think out loud. I felt that they were deceitful. I felt that they were trying to hide something from me. Their true intentions. And they were doing such a poor job of doing so. And it insulted me to think that they could get away with doing such a faulty job. The possibility that I was realizing their true meaning and intention before they did never crossed my mind. All the teachers that kept the mindless babble to themselves, were the ones I respected. They analyze their first impulse to say what is on their mind, and revise the idea they want to communicate, and the deliver it pre- packaged and labeled. Only in college did I realize that the teachers that were able to think and communicate in the way I described, were very very intelligent. And then I realized that those teachers that thought out loud were less so. I realized that I need to keep my mouth shut and let those who think out loud come to their own conclusions. I should never cross the boundary into their minds and even attempt to tell them what they are thinking, for you are always met with violent opposition. It is necessary to contemplate what I am about to say before I divulge their true meaning. In the end I am guilty of everything I am critical of. Speaking before thinking.
I am beginning to realize that while one becomes more and more intelligent, the urge to speak aloud lessens and lessens.
Afterword.
I apologize for what may seem as brash arrogance on my part. If in the end, it turns out that I am stupid, then I humbly ask you to forgive my intrusion.
posted by nick at 12:40 AM
6 Comments:
Let me just begin by saying I really enjoyed reading this. You are a good writer and you have good insights. If this is a taste of what’s to come, I can’t wait to read more.
There are several points I want to make. First of all, I agree with you about people talking too much without thinking first. There is a wonderful passage in Dante’s Divine Comedy that I quote often and concisely sums up the way I feel:
For he is a fool, and low among his kind,
who answers yea or nay without reflection,
nor does it matter on which road he runs blind.
Opinions too soon formed often deflect
Man’s thinking from the truth into gross error,
In which his pride then blinds the intellect.
Words are very powerful tools. They should be treated with care. Otherwise, they risk losing their significance. There are some people who I instinctively zone out when they talk to me because so much of what they say is pure babble and nonsense. Then there are others whose every word I hang on.
However, there is something to say for haveing a free spirit. In a way, I envy those people. I am always second guessing myself, always doubting, so self-conscious. The more I learn, the harder it is to articulate my thoughts. The better writer I become, the harder it is to write. True, quality is better than quality, but I must admit that some of these restrictions are inhibiting and in a way limiting. This is frustrating and directly contributes to more anxiety and unhappiness.
Notwithstanding this point, let me just say I would not hesitate to agree with you to choose the former. Even though everything becomes more difficult, I am much more satisfied overall which one can argue is true happiness.
The only bone I have to pick with what you wrote is the final proclamation you make. I don’t think intelligence by itself reduces the urge to speak aloud. For some people who become more intelligent, they feel a greater urge to speak up to inform and teach others who are uninformed and ignorant. These people become teachers (although not all teachers are intelligent) or social movement leaders (and they aren’t always intelligent either). Furthermore, I know plenty of people who don’t say much and I wouldn’t necessarily call them brilliant or intelligent. But what about all the books and pieces of brilliant knowledge that we do have? Obviously the intelligent person spoke up and someone wrote it down. I dunno, I see what you say, and to some extent it true, but I disagree that one is an absolute causal link to the other.
aight rob. im sorry but i still feel that the more intelligent a human is, the more silent he/she becomes. Polital leaders, social movement leaders, and teachers, as intelligent as they may be, are not as intelligent as i describe. The fact that they choose to be in the lime light, means they lack something. Would you ever be so absolutely positive in a your posistion on an arguement, that you are willing to stand infront of millions and push your position? OR would you rather sit back and really think about your position and contemplate the possibilites of you being wrong. Im sure you'd prefer the latter. Vonnegut once said that the world is run by guessers. The guessers with the most balls, so-to-speak, courage.... the guessers with the most courage are teachers, politicals leaders, and social movement leaders. Those who really know, know nothing, thus why tell anyone....
Ok, so the more you know, the more you realize that you don't know anything, right? This was the philosophy espoused by Socrates, who, as you know, was one of the most brilliant individuals who's ever lived. But did he stay silent? No. He talked a grip, but it was almost always in the form of questions. When people asked him for his opinion, he would pose ideas, but ultimately direct the conversation to others to make them disclose their answers. So more intelligence altered the content of his speech, but he never became silent.
I agree that the majority of the people who seek the limelight, or claim to have "the answer" are pretentious and have ulterior motives that almost directly contradict true intelligence, because I agree with you to a certain extent. But what about intellectuals, or scholars, that gain prominence not through their own will, but because they are so smart that their popularity is spread by others? True, they are less vocal than others, but I feel that you are saying that complete and utter silence is the mark of a genius, and I simply can't except that premise. Even if you are the smartest person in the world you need to use your voice to ask questions. Otherwise, how can you know what you know is absolute?
And if you disagree with me that's fine. I think you pose a good point that can even be accepted as a general principle, but there are always exceptions to the rule. That's all I'm sayin bro.
im not stating that seeking the limelight is bad or anything. But i guarantee that nobody knows who the smartest person in the world is.
nor will you ever be able to find out.
This idea really reminds me of Siddhartha where he lives with the fisherman for years and they rarely speak, yet he learns the most from silent observation and interaction. I hope that the most intelligent people do speak up at some point. I would be woefully irresponsible of them to allow the world to be guided by anyone else, when they could do so much better, likely not a politicians but as examples in the very least that confirms the thoughts of those like us.
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